Strip Exam
by Ben Jonas
Summary: A Sorcerer Hunters & Those Who Hunt Elves one-shot cross-over. What happens when Those Who Hunt Elves wind up on the Spoolner Continent?


Disclaimer: Sorcerer Hunters was created by Satoru Akahori and Ray Omishi. Those Who Hunt Elves was created by Yu Yagami. A few animated shorts were created by Ben Jonas while in high school (ask him about it).

Ben Jonas presents:

STRIP EXAM

A Sorcerer Hunters/Those Who Hunt Elves crossover tale of not-so-epic proportions.

Note: This story takes place at the end of Sorcerer Hunters episode 16 ("Hospital Of Love") and at some random point of Those Who Hunt Elves II.

Location: Hospital Of Love, late at night.

Inside the operating room, Carrot was tied to the operating table, about to undergo some unnecessary surgery from Dr. S'Okay and Nurse Ohno.

Dr. S'Okay: Stop screaming- this won't hurt us a bit!

Nurse Ohno: Look on the bright side- once we're done with you, you'll be able to spend some more quality time with us.

Just as Carrot was about to become the latest victim of the malicious duo's malpractice, a bright flash emanated from outside the operating room, and a large tank containing three strangers (plus one panda and one little bear-like animal) landed inside the waiting room. The loud noise interrupted the practitioners' not-so-delicate procedure.

Dr. S'Okay: What was that?!

Nurse Ohno: I don't know, Doctor- perhaps some new patients have decided to "crash" here.

Dr. S'Okay: Doubtful, but if that's the case, they'll have to wait their turn.

Meanwhile, outside the operating room...

Celcia: YOU IDIOT! Had you not tried to cast that teleportation spell, we wouldn't be in this mess!

Junpei: Hey! I'll have you know that shady dealer assured me that "Spellcasting For Idiots" book would teach me how to send us all back home in no time.

Ritsuko: And when was the last time you met an honest black market merchant?

Junpei: Let's see... uhh... look, that doesn't matter. What matters is that I was able to get the book for free and learn the spell in a matter of minutes. Besides, we could be on Earth for all we know.

Ritsuko: Are you sure? This place doesn't look all that different from Elfina.

Junpei: Maybe we're in one of those backwards-European countries, like Stroganoff, Garpachio, Rigatoni, or one of those weird-sounding places.

Airi: Junpei, those are types of food dishes. Besides, we should probably help out whoever's screaming to death next door. They might know more about this place than we do.

Junpei: Good idea, Airi! And maybe they'll tell us where we can find some spell fragments!

Celcia: Fat chance, fat head! We're probably on another world, remember?

Junpei: Shut up, tubby!

Celcia: Are you saying I'm fat?!

Junpei: I sure am, chubolardo!

As the two continued to growl at one another, Peachy and Mike started wandering off.

Ritsuko: Peachy? Mike? Where are you two going? Come back!

Peachy and Mike headed through the laboratory and into the operating room. Upon entering, the duo distracted the malevolent surgeons.

Mike: Meow!

Dr. S'Okay: What the?! How did these two "things" get in here?!

Nurse Ohno: Beats me, but did that metal behemoth just meow like a cat?

Frightened by the sight of the sharp objects the nurses were holding, Peachy pooped out a roll of toilet paper.

Dr. S'Okay: And did that little bear cub thingy just shoot toilet paper out of its' hiney?

Carrot: What the hell's going on here?!

Dr. S'Okay/Nurse Ohno: We could ask you the same thing!

Just then, Ritsuko and crew entered the operating room.

Ritsuko: Peachy! You're all right! -hugs Peachy- -looks up- Huh? What's going on here?

Dr. S'Okay: I'm sorry, but we're in the middle of a surgical procedure, and can't take any new patients right now.

Junpei: I'm not here for an appointment- I'm here for your STRIP EXAMINATION!!!

In the blink of an eye, Junpei tore the clothes off Nurse Ohno and Dr. S'Okay before they could retaliate.

Dr. S'Okay/Nurse Ohno: KYAAAAA!!!

Humiliated, the two fled in terror. Carrot blushed (and nose-bled) at the scene he just witnessed.

Junpei: Dammit! Those two didn't have any spell fragments on them!

Airi: Sorry, Junpei. Looks like you've failed your medical exam.

Ritsuko: Well, those two nurses did look human, and we are in another world, so it was kind of obvious that there were no spell fragments in the first place. Let's just get this poor guy loose and see if he can help us.

Carrot to Junpei : That was awesome! You gotta teach me how to do that!

Junpei: It's no secret, really. In fact, it's all in the wrist.

Celcia slammed Junpei over the head with a bedpan.

Celcia: Stay on topic, you moron!

Airi -to Carrot-: Excuse me, sir. We accidentally ended up in your world due to a slight mishap, and were wondering if you knew anyone that could cast a spell that would send us home.

Carrot: Well, I'm no sorcerer, but if you follow me back home, I can show you the secrets of my forbidden love magic.

Just then, Junpei slammed his fist into the operating table, missing Carrot's head by inches.

Junpei: Listen, buddy; nobody seduces Ms. Airi but me- got it?!

Carrot recovering from shock : Y-Yes, sir.

Celcia whacked Junpei over the head again with the same bedpan.

Celcia: You idiot! You're supposed to free the victim, not scare him to death!

Junpei: You want a piece of me, you lousy bamboo muncher?

As Junpei and Celcia got into another fight, Ritsuko freed Carrot from his bonds.

Carrot: WOO-HOO! Free at last! -grabs Ritsuko's hands- Thanks for rescuing me, Miss. Wanna come back to my place and celebrate?

Ritsuko: No thanks. -pulls out gun and sticks in to Carrot's forehead- Try to grab my ass, and I'll shoot.

Carrot released Ritsuko's hands.

Carrot: Sorry!

A few minutes later, everyone exited the Hospital Of Love. While on the way out, the Elf Hunters introduced themselves and explained how they got themselves into this mess.

Carrot: Japan? Never heard of it. This is the Spoolner Continent, a place where sorcerers reign supreme.

Celcia: See, Junpei? You were wrong after all.

Junpei: You want a second helping of pain, you pathetic Ling-Ling knock-off?!

Ritsuko: Knock it off, you two. -to Carrot- Where are we going, anyways?

Carrot: To see my friends. They might know a way to get you back to your own wor...

Suddenly, two pairs of arms reached out and pulled Carrot into the bushes.

Dr. S'Okay: Scream, and I'll kill you.

Nurse Ohno: Good thing we grabbed those towels on the way out, or we'd be buck-naked. Anyways, it's time for your booster shot. pulls out large syringe

Just then, Junpei grabbed Dr. S'Okay and Nurse Ohno by their towels.

Nurse Ohno: You!

Dr. S'Okay: Die, you chauvinistic pig!

Junpei: MIGHTY ATOMIC TOSS!!

Dr. S'Okay/Nurse Ohno: KYAAAAA!!!

Junpei launched the two malevolent doctors into the stratosphere, causing them to lose their towels in the process.

Junpei: They won't be bothering you again.

Carrot: That was awesome! I gotta tell my friends about that!

Seconds later, Carrot raced off into the distance.

Junpei: Damn! He's fast!

Celcia: What happened back here?

Junpei: Carrot was ambushed by those evil doctors we met earlier, but I took care of them. He ran off to tell his friends about my heroic efforts.

Ritsuko: Yeah right. After him, Mike!

In an instant, the Elf Hunters gave chase, following Carrot's footprints to where he went.

Meanwhile, inside Carrot's head...

Evil Sorcerer: MWAHAHA! I will turn you all into mindless zombies!

Female Prisoners: Somebody save us!

Suddenly, the wall behind the evil sorcerer crumbled, and out of it emerged Carrot riding Mike, crushing him in the process.

Carrot: Never fear, ladies! Carrot and his mighty battle beast are here!

Female Prisoner 1: Oh my! It's so big!

Female Prisoner 2: And Strong!

Female Prisoner 3: I wanna ride it, too!

Carrot: Not to worry! There's plenty of me and my battle beast to go around! Isn't that right, Mike?

Mike: Meow!

Female Prisoner 2: Awww! It looks tough but sounds cute. Just like you, Carrot.

Carrot laughed as numerous ladies caressed him

Meanwhile, inside a nearby forest, the Sorcerer Hunters were pondering what happened to Carrot after they decided to leave him inside the Hospital of Love.

Chocolate: So, do you think darling's learned his lesson yet?

Marron: Knowing my brother, I highly doubt it.

At that moment, Carrot appeared in front of them.

Carrot: You guys! You're not going to believe what happened to me! I was about to be killed by these two evil (yet sexy) doctors when this big metallic beast who sounds like a cat and this little bear cub thingy who shoots toilet paper out its ass came out of nowhere. Then this muscular guy showed up and tore the clothes off of them, and these two ladies and a talking panda from another world rescued me. After that, we...

Tira: I think those doctors must've treated poor Carrot pretty badly.

Chocolate: I agree, their torture probably made him lose his mind. Wanna whip him back into shape?

Tira: By all means.

In the blink of an eye, Tira and Chocolate changed into their dominatrix forms.

Carrot -shocked-: Wait a second! I'm telling the truth! Honest!

Chocolate: Sorry, darling, it's not that we don't believe you... okay, we don't believe a single word you've said.

Just as Carrot was about to get whipped into next week...

Junpei: MIGHTY HEEL DROP!

Junpei appeared out of nowhere and nailed Tira with a swift kick to the back of her head, knocking her to the ground.

Junpei: Jeez, Carrot, are you a magnet for psychopathic women or what?

Carrot: Uh, Junpei, they're on...

Junpei: Don't worry, I'll get them off your back.

Just then, Chocolate wrapped her whip around Junpei, but he managed to break free and threw her over his shoulder. Chocolate landed on her feet, and just as Junpei started charging toward her, Tria tripped him up with her whip.

Tira: That sneak attack hurt, you big oaf, but this'll hurt you even more.

At that moment, Those Who Hunt Elves arrived at the battlefield.

Celcia: It looks like Junpei's in trouble!

Ritsuko: Let's go, Mike!

Ritsuko, Celcia, and Mike entered the ruckus, unaware that the people they were about to fight were Carrot's friends.

Ritsuko -pulls out gun- : You in the black hat! Drop the whip now!

Before Ritsuko could open fire, Chocolate wrapped her whip around her opponent's gun and pulled it away.

Ritsuko: Hey! Give that back! -pulls out tazer-

In another part of the woods, Gateau was holding back Mike.

Mike: MRROOOOWW!

Gateau -surprised-: What the?! That thing meowed like a cat! I guess Carrot wasn't speaking nonsense after all.

Celcia: You there! Unhand Mike this instant!

Gateau -surprised-: A talking panda cub?! What are you going to do, sit around and eat bamboo?

Celcia: No, this!

Celcia summoned a spell which turned the ground beneath Gateau to turn to ice, causing him to slip, fall, and get run over by Mike.

Celcia: Ha! That'll teach you to underestimate a panda.

Gateau: Heh-heh-heh. You think I'd fold so soon?

Using his brute strength, Gateau picked up Mike and held it over his head.

Celcia -shocked-: No way!

Gateau: Thanks for letting me get underneath your metallic pet. Unless you can lift heavy objects like me, you're about to become a pandacake.

At that moment, Peachy ran up to Gateau.

Gateau: Aww! How cu... AAAH! Stop rubbing your butt on my leg!

As Gateau was about to slam Mike into the ground, Celcia began charging up a powerful spell.

Elsewhere, outside the woods...

Airi: Something tells me this whole ordeal is just a big misunderstanding.

Marron: I agree. This battle seems pointless. How long do you think it'll be before they realize that we're on the same side?

Airi: I'd give it another ten seconds.

Ten seconds later...

Carrot: STOP!!!

At that moment, everyone stopped what they were doing, with Junpei about to body slam Chocolate, Tira about to choke Junpei with her whip, Ritsuko about to zap Tira with her tazer, Celcia about to blast Gateau, and Gateau about to toss Mike onto Celcia.

Carrot: THESE ARE MY FRIENDS!!

Everyone (except for Airi and Marron): WHAT?! You mean them?!

Carrot: YES!!

Everyone (except for Airi and Marron): Well why didn't you say so sooner?!

Carrot: I couldn't get a word in edgewise!!

One awkward exchange of apologies later...

Junpei: Well, I guess this whole thing was just a big misunderstanding! HA HA!

Celcia: Yeah, never mind the fact that you started it.

Junpei: You're one to talk! You got into this fray as well. Besides, at least we've all made amends, right?

Everyone stared at Junpei as an awkward silence filled the woods.

Ritsuko -to Tira and Chocolate-: How are you able to transform like that?

Tira -to Ritsuko-: It's magic.

Chocolate -to Ritsuko-: Unfortunately, we're the only ones who can do that sort of thing, so if you're looking for advice, you're out of luck.

Ritsuko -to Chocolate-: That's okay. I doubt I'd look very imposing in a dominatrix outfit.

Tira -to Ritsuko-: Still, if you could teach me how to use that long gun of yours, I'd appreciate it.

Ritsuko -to Tira-: Sure thing! -hands Tira her assault rifle- All you have to do is look through the scope, point the crosshairs at your target, and squeeze the trigger.

Tira -to Ritsuko-: You mean like this? -aims and fires at Junpei, missing him by inches-

Junpei -shocked-: HEY! What's the big idea?!

Tira -to Junpei-: Sorry! My finger slipped! -whispers to Ritsuko- Actually, I wanted to get back at him for kicking me in the head.

Ritsuko -to Tira-: I see.

Junpei -to Carrot-: How long have you had to deal with these nut bars?

Carrot -to Junpei-: Not long enough. -dodges bullet-

Chocolate: Watch what you say, darling, or I won't miss next time.

Gateau: You're kidding! This thing's really possessed by the spirit of a cat?

Airi: That's correct.

Gateau: Well, no wonder it's chasing after those forest mice.

-Mike races around in the forest, knocking over lots of trees-

Marron -to Airi-: Judging from what you've told me, Elfina doesn't sound all that different from the Spoolner Continent.

Airi -to Marron-: True- even our tasks seem similar. We have to find and retrieve spell fragments, while you and your friends have to find and stop evil sorcerers.

Marron -to Airi-: Perhaps our worlds are quite similar after all.

Airi nodded in agreement.

Just then, Dota magically appeared out of nowhere.

Dota: Hello everyone!

Junpei: IT'S AN ELF! Forgive me for stripping you!

Dota: KYAAAA!!

Ritsuko: Junpei NO!

Celcia -to Junpei-: We're on another world, remember?

Everyone ran up and dog-piled Junpei.

Carrot: Don't do it, Junpei! I'm the only one allowed to strip her!

Chocolate whacked Carrot with the back of Ritsuko's assault rifle.

Chocolate: Not another word, darling.

Somehow (even with Gateau holding him back), he was still able to move. As her inched his way toward Dota (dragging everyone who was trying to keep him pinned), Marron stuck a piece of paper on Junpei's forehead.

Marron: Freeze.

Junpei: What the?! I...can't...move!

Marron: Not to worry- this spell will only keep you paralyzed until daybreak.

Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief as Junpei was brought to a halt.

Ritsuko: What happened, Gateau? Your friends told me you were their strongest member.

Gateau: Your little friend distracted me by rubbing her butt on my shoe again.

Ritsuko: Don't say it like that- she's harmless.

Chocolate: Yeah, I'm sure it's just her way of showing how much she likes you. -picks up Peachy- Isn't that right, you cute little...AAAAAH! Stop that!

Chocolate tossed Peachy over to Tira.

Tira: Hey! My dress isn't toilet paper!

Scared, Peachy ran a few feet away before pooping out a roll of toilet paper.

Chocolate -shocked-: I don't think I'm ever going to be able to look at toilet paper the same way again.

Tira -shocked-: Me neither.

Marron: So Peachy's waste is toilet paper. How disgusting yet fascinating.

Airi -to Dota-: Sorry to bother you, but would you know anyone that has the power to transport people to other worlds? My friends and I somehow appeared on your world, and we need to get back to our own reality post haste.

Dota: Big Mama might know how to do that. So long as you keep that thug of yours away from me, you're welcome to come to the Famile Empire. Bye for now!

Dota disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Airi: Well then, which one of you knows the way to the Famile Empire?

All of the Sorcerer Hunters raised their hands.

Airi: Good. Then let's be on our way.

Everyone climbed aboard Mike (with Gateau lifting the now-paralyzed Junpei onto the tank).

Gateau: Hey ladies... takes off shirt and poses LOOK AT MEEE!

Marron: Hold it. -places paper talisman on Gateau's forehead, paralyzing him-

Gateau shocked : Marron...why?

Marron: You love striking poses, so I wanted to see how long you could hold this one for.

Gateau: Very...funny...Marron.

With that, the Sorcerer Hunters and Elf Hunters headed off for the Famile Empire.

Later, at a nearby village...

Gateau: Look at MEEE AND MY MIGHTY MACHINE!! -poses on top of Mike-

Female Villager 1: Oh my!

Female Villager 2: They're both so big and strong!

All the ladies squealed with delight as they crowded around Gateau and Mike.

Chocolate: Hey Gateau! Wake up!

Gateau: Huh? What happened?

Marron: You fell asleep. I removed the talisman after you nodded off.

Gateau: What about Junpei?

Marron: I decided to leave his on a little while longer.

Meanwhile, at the front of the tank...

Tira: Hmmm... what should I do next? I know! -draws swirl on Junpei's left cheek- -everyone giggles-

Carrot: Hey! Let me try! -writes "idiot" on Junpei's forehead-

Ritsuko: Ha! Ha! Good one, Carrot!

Celcia: I'd say it fits his personality.

Junpei: You know, as soon as this spell wears off, I'm going to kill you all.

Ritsuko: Aw, quit complaining. Besides, I've always wondered how you'd look with a goatee and moustache. -starts drawing on Junpei's face-

Later, at the Famile Empire's central cathedral, Those Who Hunt Elves explained their situation to Big Mama.

Big Mama: I see. How unusually interesting. I don't think I've ever cast an inter-dimensional transportation spell before. Dota, go find Mille Feuille and tell him to bring me the Tome of Forbidden Spells.

Dota: Right away, Big Mama!

Junpei: Uh, Dota?

Dota: Yes?

Junpei: I'm... sorry about how I acted last night.

Dota: That's okay. You're actually kind of cute when you're not angry. smiles

-Junpei looks away and blushes-

Carrot -thinking to himself-: WHAT?! Dota thinks that big lug is cute, but not me?! That's not fair!

A few minutes later, Dota returned with Mille Feuille and the Tome.

Mille Feuille: I brought the Tome of Forbidden Spells as per your reque... Carrot! You're back!

Mille Feuille ran up to Carrot and glomped him.

Mille Feuille: How's my favorite little vegetable doing?

Carrot struggling to break free : How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not interested!

Mille Feuille: Aw come on, Carrot- you're only denying the truth.

At that moment, something caught Mille Feuille's eye.

Mille Feuille: Hey! Who ordered the extra-large beef brisket?

Mille Feuille released Carrot and glomped Junpei.

Junpei: Hey! Let go of me! I only swing one way, and it ain't in your direction, freak!

Junpei struggled to break free, but to no avail.

Mille Feuille: Oh my! You're a feisty one! Can I keep him, Big Mama? Please?

Big Mama: Sorry, Mille Feuille, but Junpei needs to get back to his own world, and can't stay for very long.

Mille Feuille: Awww! Can't I play with him for just a little while?

Junpei: I'll give you something to play with! MIGHTY SPIN KICK!

-Mille dodges it-

Junpei: MIGHTY RISING UPPERCUT!

-Mille evades it-

Junpei: Hey! Hold still, will ya?!

Mille Feuille: -Giggle!- No need to be so rough.

Everyone simply watched in shocked silence.

At that moment, Big Mama sensed a powerful presence nearby.

Big Mama: I feel an incredibly strong aura radiating from you, Celcia. Something tells me you're not in your true form.

Celcia: That's correct. Unfortunately, I'm confined to the body of a small panda due to the spell fragments on my body.

Big Mama: Let me see if I can help you return to normal.

Big Mama and Celcia joined hands.

Big Mama: Fineus Para RIKDO!

Upon uttering those words, a bright flash filled the hall. When the light dissipated, Celcia was back to her original self.

Celcia: I'm me again!

Carrot: Whoa mama! That panda's a real hottie in disguise!

Junpei: Wait a second. If she's back to normal, then where are all the spell fragments?

Upon noticing where the spell fragments ended up, everyone struggled to hold back their laughter.

Dota -shocked-: AAAAAHH!! Big Mama, what happened to your face?!

Carrot: -Snicker!- It looks like a little kid doodled all over her! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

With that, everyone broke out laughing. Suddenly, Big Mama shot a pair of laser beams from her eyes, barely missing Carrot and effectively silencing the laughter.

Big Mama: Now that that's been settled, let's see if there's a spell here for inter-dimensional transportation. -opens up Tome of Forbidden Spells and flips through- Hmmm... let's see... massive mallets, meteor showers, mixed-up mice?! Ah, here it is! It says here that it takes the combined power of two magic-users from two different dimensions in order for it to work. Celcia, I'm going to need you to join hands with me once more.

Celcia: Sure.

Big Mama: The mantra for this spell is incredibly long. If even one of the words is mentioned incorrectly, or if the mantra is interrupted, it could open up numerous rifts to countless realities, which could very well cause all of reality to collapse.

Celcia: That goes triple for you, Junpei.

Junpei sneered at Celcia.

Big Mama: Well then, shall we get started?

Celcia: By all means, let's begin.

The two joined hands and began speaking the spell's mantra simultaneously.

One hour later, the mantra ended. Suddenly, a huge blast of energy separated Big Mama & Celcia and sent them flying to opposite ends of the hall.

Dota: Big Mama! Are you okay?

Big Mama: I'm fine.

Celcia: Same here.

Seconds later, the energy generated from the blast formed a large swirl, which, in turned, transformed into an inter-dimensional portal large enough to fit Junpei.

Celcia: It worked!

Big Mama: Indeed. Now you can return to Elfina and finish your long and arduous task.

Ritsuko: All right! Elfina, here we come (again)!

Junpei: Whatever. The sooner I can get back to Japan, the better.

Airi: Goodbye, everyone, and good luck making the Spoolner Continent a safer place to live.

Upon saying their goodbyes, Junpei, Ritsuko, Airi, Peachy, and Mike all entered the portal. Shortly before Celcia went back in, however...

Big Mama: Wait a moment, Celcia. Tarma Eri FIO!

After uttering those words, the spell fragments transferred back to Celcia, which reverted her back to her panda form.

Celcia: Thanks. Hopefully, we'll meet again under better circumstances. Farewell, Big Mama.

Big Mama: Farewell, Celcia. Best of luck in your ongoing endeavors.

Upon leaping into the portal, Celcia disappeared, and the temporal distortion dissolved. Moments later, a wave of depression washed over nearly everyone in the central cathedral.

Big Mama: What's wrong, my children?

Gateau: I wanted Mike!

Tira: I wanted Ritsuko's assault rifle!

Chocolate: And her tazer!

Dota: I wanted to play with Peachy!

Carrot: I wanted Junpei to teach me how to strip women!

Everyone stared angrily at Carrot.

Carrot: What? Was it something I said?

Mille Feuille: I wanted the large flank steak! -sigh!- Oh well. Guess I'll have to settle for the side salad. -hugs Carrot-

Carrot: GAH! Let go of me!

Big Mama: I need a vacation...

Back on Elfina, elfin priestess Regina was celebrating with the townsfolk over her successful removal of Junpei and Those Who Hunt Elves.

Villager 1: Excellent work, Mistress Regina!

Villager 2: You've finally liberated us of those diabolical Those Who Hunt Elves once and for all!

Regina: And to think, all I had to do was pose as a merchant and sell that idiot Junpei an enchanted copy of "Spellcasting For Idiots". If I had only thought of that sooner...

Suddenly, a temporal rift opened up, and out of it spilled the Elf Hunters. The villagers' celebratory mood quickly turned to shock and horror.

Junpei: HEY LADIES! WE'RE BAAAAACK!!! -cracks knuckles-

Regina: Son of a bit...!

THE END!

BONUS! Alternate Ending:

As the portal closed behind Celcia, Big Mama suddenly realized that something was amiss.

Marron: What's the matter, Big Mama?

Big Mama: Celcia and I mispronounced the second-to-last word of the mantra. That means they could be heading toward a world far different from that of Elfina.

Everyone: UH-OH!

Carrot: I sure hope they end up somewhere nice and warm.

On a completely different world, a portal opened up over a mysterious land and tossed the Elf Hunters onto a grassy field.

Junpei: Where they hell are we? This place doesn't look a thing like Elfina.

Celcia: What the?! I'm back to my original form!

Airi: Maybe the spell fragments got lost in the temporal distortion field.

Ritsuko: I think I hear something coming towards us.

At that moment, a large object zoomed by Those Who Hunt Elves.

Junpei: It's a van! WE'RE BACK ON EARTH!!!

Excited by the news, Junpei and Ritsuko embraced one another.

Celcia: But that means I'll never be able to return to Elfina.

Junpei: Ah, don't worry about it, Celcia; you'll like it here on Earth. They've got hot tubs, cable television, and all the beef curry you can eat! -sheds tears as he mentions beef curry-

Ritsuko to Celcia : Junpei's right. Besides, I'm sure there's some bizarre cult out there that'll help you get back to Elfina.

Junpei: Think you can read that sign over there, Miss Airi? I can't read English.

Airi: Certainly, Junpei. -reads sign- Welcome to Des Moines, IOWA?!

Ritsuko -shocked-: WHAT?!? We landed in the most boring city in America?!

Junpei: ARRRR! This is why I hate fantasy stories!!! -echo-

THE END!

So, what did you think of this unique one-shot? Let me know. Send all comments and chocolate chunk cookie recipes to . See you next fanfic!


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